Failed Pilot

Ah…my life of clarifying. While I did do the Best Show calls, I know that Jeff and I were bouncing this character off one another during that time, and once the call (on the CD) came around, Jeff performed it (and came up with much of the call….I submitted some notes/points….we were in my kitchen, Memphis, a couple of years ago). I based the Best Show character on the HBO Undercover documentary, Small Town Ecstasy (if anyone knows where I can obtain a copy of this…..). If you’ve witnessed this piece of work, “Ditchweed” should ring slightly familiar.

The Solomon Grundy album…..bust through a wall like a big fat Van Conner and harrass the nearest cutout bin or eBay auction. You will pay no more than two bux, but it’s worth 6x that. Take what you hate about late-period Screaming Trees (first three albums are worth seeking out, btw) and replace it with what you love about grade-A power pop. Thank god the Screaming Trees weren’t getting along in 1990. You may ask, “What is this Seattle phase, sir?” Tad documentary? Blown away. Might watch it AGAIN tonight once I finish with more important concerns. Torche, Solomon Grundy, and Tad….this week I’ve listened only to bands fronted by big boys.

I’m going to have to weigh in here and state that “esteemed” is far too generous. I just noticed the initials. You’re too kind!!

See post (and comments) from earlier today. Rollins takes FailedPilot hostage for a day!!! Perfect!!!

How I spent National Earles and Jensen Day. That was May 6th. That was also the day that our record was released.  

7:00 to 7:30 - Woke up, or as Watt would put it, “popped” to my cell phone’s alarm. Mom’s* couch. Had a cup of weak coffee (my mother drinks “half-caff”) and a bowl of (frosted) shredded wheat.

7:30 to 10:00 - Bought a real cup of coffee. Dealt with pharmacy and bank. Spent an hour returning e-mails and chipping away at work/writing. Marveled at, and decided to use, this YouTube clip in a promotional stunt.

10:00 to 11:00 - Got a haircut. Hairdresser is a friend of many years. Discussed: My record, family issues, a conversational interloper (upon departure, behind her back), our respective doctors, money, relationships.  

11:00 to 12:30 - Returned to my apartment. Fed cats + fish. Work/Writing. Made/received several phone calls.

12:30 to 1:15 -  Retrieved mail from PO Box, mailed several packages, picked up Indian food to go.

1:15 to 3:30 - Work/Writing

3:30 to 5:00 - Dropped off belated birthday gift for Dave Dunlap’s two-year-old son (a bucket of beginner’s Lego’s, or ‘Duplos’). Stopped by Goner Records to purchase steadily growing bag of hold items and to make some brief notations (physical layout) re: Saturday afternoon release gala. Picked up Mom from work and drove her home.

5:00 to 9:00 - Began journey back to Midtown Memphis. Stopped at big box music retailer and “pulled a Tav Falco.”** There were three copies of Earles and Jensen Present…Just Farr A Laugh Vol 1 & 2 (The Greatest Prank Phone Calls Ever!) in the comedy section. There were zero copies in the used bin. A female friend invited me to a birthday pool party on Saturday afternoon. I uninvited myself not by using the real excuse (record release extranvaganza…5:30 PM, 5/10), but through a series of return texts that repeatedly referenced “accidental boners” and various pool mishaps by way of bodily functions. Conducted long(ish) interview (6:15 - 7:30) for book. Called a local chain store (Midtown location) to ask about the availability of my release. Did not disguise voice or inject any “prank” elements into call. After being put on hold for seven minutes and talking to two employees, I was informed that they had three copies in stock. Ate leftover Indian food. Obtained a rent receipt from my landlord.

9:00 to til - Returned to Mom’s. Finished some tasks heavy lifting around the joint. Worked/Wrote (including this post) until bedtime. Turned down a couple of social invitations. Did not party. Looked for mentions of my album on the Internet. Decided to do something relaxing or recreational tomorrow (today) if time/tasks allow.

Music listened to: Naked Raygun, Desmond Dekker, Dark Angel, Solomon Grundy, Torche, The Posies and possibly others that fall beyond easy recollection….. 

* Last week, my mother suffered a fall in the middle of the night. Diagnosis? A couple of cracked ribs + very painful internal bruising. Forced to breathe lightly due to the pain, some fluid started to develop on the lungs, which led to a manageable but briefly troubling case of “walking” pneumonia. Lots of x-rays, lots of waiting rooms, etc. Her health is improving, so this is my last night on her couch (I could sleep in the guest bedroom, but the high-speed cable will not reach…no TV, etc).

** As I was working the counter one Sunday afternoon at Shangri-La Records (mid-to-late-90’s), Tav Falco entered with his girlfriend and began to thoroughly examine the Tav Falco and Panther Burns sections (vinyl AND cd). This went on for about ten minutes before he approached the counter and asked, “Do you have any Tav Falco and Panther Burns?”

Indie stores and big box retailers are showing the first signs of eager fans braving the elements, hoping to get their nasty mits on Earles and Jensen Present…Just Farr A Laugh Vol 1 & 2 (The Greatest Prank Phone Calls Ever!!). Check out the great deals on camping gear at your local Target!! Thank me later for the tip!! Comfort is a must as you wait out the hours, playing UNO with strangers. Some of those big box retailers stay open until one or two in the morning on Tuesdays, which throws this whole thing way out of wack!! Let it be known that Earles and Jensen do not advocate violence in check out lines. Please do not dispatch a fellow customer just so you can get an extra copy of our release. We have enough problems. PLEASE NOTE THAT THE LIMIT PER CUSTOMER IS 981 COPIES!!

Like I said….MAY 6TH (TOMORROW!!!) HAS BEEN DECLARED NATIONAL EARLES AND JENSEN DAY!!

GO HERE OR READ THE LATEST ANNOUNCEMENT!!

SHAKE IT WITH BLEACHY!!!

PERIPHERAL ITEMS: 

1. Rent, buy, or Netflix (my verb usage is going to age poorly) the Tad documentary, Busted Circuits & Ringing Ears. Maybe it was coinciding (though disparate) personal circumstances, maybe it was my dismissal of this band back in the day (into lots of pummel like Tad, just never Tad), maybe it’s my current habit of only listening to bands with overweight front men, but this consumate underdog story was, oh I don’t know, QUITE MOVING. Give me this plus the (yet-to-be-seen) Silkworm documentary, and I can put 2008 to bed as far as rock docs go. I will never watch the Roky, Jandek (don’t get me started!!), or Daniel Johnston documentaries again. Ever. I’ve watched American Hardcore, We Jam Econo, and Not a Photograph several times (this year) for research purposes. My second of many dates with Busted Circuits is scheduled for late tonight, before bed.

2. Color me excited about starting Richard Price’s Lush Life. Color me apprehensive re: his handling of 20/30-something culture.

3. I remember when there were fifty of these…at a dollar per unit.