(Insert artist name, record title, label and any other pertinent info here)
Stalwarts stray from the avant-tedious ditch they were digging (and you were loving), and move further into bubblegum land, turning out a record that I would pay money for. Used. Some of it really triggers the good stuff, melodically, and to their credit, they have a slithering trademark sound that garners them a much less depressing slot than any other band trying to do this stuff in the year (insert year).

(Insert artist name, record title, label and any other pertinent info here)
This is the good, logical rock made by people when they are finished with children’s music (you know it as “hardcore”). People in their mid to late 20’s rarely choose to continue with the oxymoronic “dignified hardcore” route, and I consider that one of life’s little nod’s to good judgement. Throngs of half-wits in their Gutter Garanimals, crammed into a closet, pretending to pay attention to someone barking a half-researched pop-quiz about travesties that conveniently occur thousands of miles away – this will be laughed at by my children. This rock and roll band, led by a man who is/was a hero to thousands of people who share the common thread of smelling like an eight-day old Happy Meal, is a crafted breeze of wavy, whining, semi-urban-psych guitars tensing out in front of the requisite first-wave post-punk rhythm section……..and I can certainly deal with it. You can hear the care that went into this, and I don’t mean the kind that someone is trying to force down your throat.

(Insert artist name, record title, label and any other pertinent info here)
The mid-to-upper echelon is always trying to convince you that something “unassuming” is “really good.” These “unassuming” artists of yore are at times so very precise in their awfulness. Little Feat is a good example.

(Insert artist name, record title, label and any other pertinent info here)
Next time, do not send the photo-enhanced one sheet. A release will not be reviewed if I am conscious of a member’s ponytail.