Oh, so I didn’t post yesterday. It was my birthday, and for my birthday, I consumed banana pancakes with crunchy peanut butter syrup for breakfast, and a Belgium Waffle-sized steak for dinner. Hey, no corn! I know a couple of prescription laxatives that have their work cut out for them. Good luck, guys!
August 2004
Monthly Archive
Mon 16 Aug 2004
Sat 14 Aug 2004
The nurse rang me back on my cell phone. I was driving, and caught off guard. Frantically, I told her how scared I was of the procedure. Then, I pulled into a parking lot, and for two whole minutes, loudly mock-vomited to prove to her my overwhelming fear.
“Sorry, I’m just really not looking forward to this.”
Fri 13 Aug 2004
“You’ll be given a cocktail drug that induces twilight sleep and amnesia.” This is the doctor talking. What’s troublesome is the mention of amnesia. It implies that I’ll be around for something I won’t remember later. I don’t want to be around at all. Ever. Everyone else I’ve consulted claims that it’s simply liquid Demerol. I tried to call the nurse today, but she was typically unavailable. A piece of advise to anyone expecting a future visit to the doctor, dentist, or a procedure of some type: It’s best to completely freak out in the presence of a doctor or nurse. Complain about fears, phobias, and pains. I mean, really, really complain. Roll around on the floor. Try to cry. This behavior can only result in positive things: Good treatment and better drugs.