A Introductory Glossary Of Terms/Phrases Used In The Car Business

“Gladys, Irene, Martha, Mary”

How male car salesmen address other males.

“Do you get a free tank of gas with the car? Lemme ask you something, Gladys… when you bought your wallet, did it come with a twenty dollar bill?”

“Knocked His/Her Dick Off”

Acquiring a large sum of money for a car that may or may not be worth said amount.

“I Wonder What The Poor People Are Doing Tonight”

What certain types of car salesmen say under the influence of a particularly good week. These weeks tend to be followed by several bad ones.

“Thundercougar”

A previously wrecked Ford Thunderbird or Mercury Cougar that has been fitted with the front body panels of the sister car. Only works with ‘89 to ‘96 models.

“Lot Rock”

Low level, low impact, automobile with serious problem, such as the need for a new transmission or other costly work that would “turn the car upside down” (repairs = more than car is worth). These cars serve an important purpose, especially the ones that harbor loud problems. When a customer inquires about the automobile (they are usually fine visually), the salesman can say, “Oh no, I wouldn’t sell you that one, it needs ______.” Trust is established.

“Fucked Like You Didn’t Know You Could Get Fucked”

Self-explanatory.