And I’m back. Afternoon Rock Hall of “Gratness”??? - head from ass, Earles. I may be the last person on earth to see the Yacht Rock shorts, but that doesn’t matter, as I’m not so impressed.

Here they are. Watch them in order, if you can handle that.

Has its moments, but overall, a pretty pedestrian take on someone else’s idea of the genre. It fails to go deep, and it misses what makes Afternoon Rock both great AND funny. Also, if what these filmmakers call “Yacht Rock” encompasses the Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan, Toto, or Kenny Loggins, then it and Afternoon Rock are disparate genres. Aside from the very first Steely Dan hit (“Dirty Work” – sung by an ousted vocalist, sounds nothing like what would become Steely Dan), none of those artists can claim an Afternoon Rock song.

Just so I’m not written off (again) as a negative ninny, here’s what I did like about the Yacht Rock series:

· That Hall and Oates were portrayed as foul-mouthed aggressors.
· Jeff “Skunk” Baxter is mildly fertile ground for comedy.
· Hall and Oates’ “Portable Radio” – deserves points.
· The guy playing Christopher Cross really does look like Christopher Cross.
· The portrayal of Donald Fagan.
· Rosanna Arquette is credited as starring in S.O.B.
· The SCTV sequence in #4.
· Though Steve Perry is a an obvious and unfunny punching bag, the inclusion of “Don’t Fight It”, his duet with Kenny Loggins, is hilarious.
· “In the unlikely event that this plan should fail, I will turn to you, my brothers in Toto, to help me write a song so smooth and awesome, that Rosanna Arquette will have no choice but to fuck my brains out.”
· The little known fact that the members of Toto helped to write and perform Michael Jackson’s Thriller.

Now, as the Afternoon Rock Hall of Greatness continues, let’s go deep… (to be noted is Afternoon Rock Rule #8: To qualify as an Afternoon Rock song, it must have been a hit…and as always, steal all of this).

1. Stephen Bishop “On and On” (1976)
2. Bob Welch “Sentimental Lady” (1976) Fun Fact: Better is his version as a member of Fleetwood Mac, on 1974’s Bare Trees.
3. Chris Rea “Fool If You Think It’s Over” (1978)
4. Benny Mardones “Into the Night” (1980) Fun Fact: A friend of mine’s father wrote this creepy paean to an underage girl.
5. Poco “Crazy Love” (1978)
6. Paul Davis “Cool Night” (1981)
7. Firefall “Strange Way” (1978)
8. Al Stewart “Song On The Radio” (1978)
9. Walter Egan “Magnet and Steel” (1978)
10. John Stewart “Gold” (1979)