One of my 462 comedy misfires. Performed once or twice on Tom Scharpling’s The Best Show On FMU.

These notes accompanied the first, largely improvised call.

Conrad Sheraton AKA Captain Catch-Phrase

Actual Catch Phrases:

“You’re The Man Now, Dog”

“Let’s Be Careful Out There”

SGT Phil Estherhouse on Hillstreet Blues. This line was said by Sgt Phil Estherhouse at roll call

“Tweekend”

…album by The Crystal Method

“Well, I think what you’re problem is here is that you got some sorta parallel dimension.”

From “House II: The Second Story”

“Dry Hair is for Squids!!!”

from Trancers (mention Tim Thomerson)

“Good Goobily Goop”

Whitman Mayo, another master, I’d like to take a moment of silence in his honor. Grady…….

“Justice Has It’s Price” (A Civil Action – 1998 – Bobby Duvall and John Travolta)

“Ex-cop, ex-con, ex-plosive” (Malone 1987……….Burt Reynolds)

“Honor Student by Day……Hooker By Night” (Angel 1984…..)

“He Builds Terror” (The Carpenter…..(1989)………Wings Hauser….)

“Mike Catton was once a world-renowned construction foreman (at least in the construction world), but an accident left him with a serious fear of heights. Unable to climb the big skyscrapers while under construction, he retired and became a truck driver. But when an old friend needs him to help put up a building, and when the old friend gets harassed and threatened by an Evil Corporate Type, he comes out of retirement and assembles the creme de la creme of the construction world. Together, they race against time to finish the building while the Evil Corporate Type tries to stop them.”

“This Party Never Ends” (Coyote Ugly)

Bob Zany

“Baybeeee!!!!!”

“The doctor checked my cholesterol and when the test results came back……they found bacon….Baybeeee!!!!”

“I went to a fat farm, and they made it a ranch!!!”

“I went to IHOP and ordered pigs in a blanket, and they brought me a picture of my parents in bed!!!!!”

Catch phrases that I made up (that no one is interested in)

“Canadians: The New Polacks”

“Hi Honey, I’m Home, the bass player for The Georgia Satellites just sacked my groceries”

“Thank Curtis Armstrong’s Sock Drawer” (“Goov” in Clan Of The Cave Bear, “Booger” – all four Revenge of the Nerds, “Charles De Mar” in Better Off Dead

“Dem’s Da Breaks”

“Sometimes, It Jus Beez That Way”

“You so off your rocker!!!!!”

“You get everything you need in a gritty tale of wartime journalism…..plus, an exploding Jim Belushi.”

“Jimmy My Smits”

When insulting Tom:

How about this one:

“the Best Show On WFMU is the Scarecrow and Mrs. King of radio”

“Tom Scharpling, the Ron Reagan Jr. of radio”

“do you want mustard or mayo on your knuckle sandwich?”

Jerry McGuire

“You Had Me At Hello”

“Show Me The Money”

“You Complete Me”

Cobra

“This is where the law stops, and I start”

“You’re the disease, I’m the cure”

The Park Is Mine (1986)

(Tommy Lee Jones……….Yaphet Koto)

Skag (1980) (Karl Malden)

“They call me Skag!!!”

Suntanama………like Hot Tuna meets Glenn Frey……. “Down at the sunset grill indeed!!!!!”