Failed Pilot

It ding-a-linged in my head that Road House 2: Last Call may be the perfect sequel/remake hybrid. Scenes were repeated, but with a high-impact Southern hip-hop element (as enjoyed by white drug dealers). Holy smokes, Jake Busey has gained some weight, and has almost fully adopted his father’s overacting abilities. They even sound identical. “I thought you’d be bigger” is used again, as is, “I don’t fly; too dangerous.” The winner so far?

“Dalton was wrong. Pain does hurt.”

Providence people….email me. info@failedpilot.com

You’ll be glad you did.

Put “you told me to e-mail you” in the subject line so as to differentiate your e-mail from my unwittingly open pipeline of gamble-spam and “so sorry you have a rat-gnawed penis!!” spam.

On that note, I’m putting my nuts out on the line here.

Chef’s, arrogant ass-bags that they usually are, have a tendency to wear their beloved trousers outside of the kitchen. This is not an act of convenience. The Oysterhead or Burning Man-related t-shirt didn’t give it away, so no, standing in line at the drug store, we didn’t know you were a chef. It took a criss-crossed pattern of lobsters, spatulas, and most infuriatingly, chili peppers, on a pair of thick pajama bottoms, to cinch the deal. I am in awe of you. Next up in my look at Professions Or Hobbies That Make You Dress Like An Asshole: Cyclists.