3. 

The John C. Reilly/Will Ferrell/Jack Black musical number? I DIDN’T LIKE IT.

It looks as though the nominated Animated and Live Action shorts needed to be…..short.

We’ve now gone several minutes without mention of that BETTER THAN AVERAGE COP MOVIE.

The Sound Effects Choir. Wacky. Probably the only part of the Oscars that Mike Patton enjoyed.

MORE E-MURPH!!!

Another asshole with a thank-you list. The sound people for Dreamgirls….one of them said “smokin’”

Do I want E-Murph or Alan Arkin to win Best Supporting? Or Jackie Earl Haley?

Arkin won it!!!

Give a good speech!! This man is allowed to break out the notes!! He sat is statue down!!

Paula Poundstone is back. Doing a little walk through the people. An immense success at avoiding laughs.

Truth be told, I’m working on 3 – 4 more important projects right this second, and I can’t seem to stop thinking about this pair of solid black New Balance 574’s. I adore subtle sneakers.

YES!! Movies and Music!! The Oscars are once again a great place for a painful singer-songwriter gangbang: James Taylor, Randy Newman, and compact truck enthusiast Melissa Etheridge provided seven minutes of pure awfulness that’s actually worse than whatever boring indie film Sufjan Stevens is planning on attaching songs to.

The writing montage. Yep, that’s what writing really looks like.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

And the winner is….

THE BETTER THAN AVERAGE COP MOVIE!!!

At least the writer looks exactly like I’d expected. And talks too much.