February 2007
Monthly Archive
Sun 25 Feb 2007
Posted by Andrew Earles under
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5.
Hollyweird Strikes Back!!
Like Dave Dunlap Jr., I am astonished at the mention of Red Sonja.
Paula, Jack Nicholson is smiling and laughing because he’s a cartoon character in a live action Better Than Average Cop movie. Oh, and he’s really high on drugs.
Chris Connelly talks again and a fork goes into my right eyeball.
Just switched back from BET Jazz’s Reggaeton Rush Hour to BET Jazz’s Adult Urban Dentist Office Waiting Room Intercom Speaker showcase…..I’m completely lost!!!
Where would the ceremony be without another confusing RACE/RELIGION/WAR montage?
…and speaking of….
Stars of this year’s death montage: Bruno Kirby, Darrin McGavin, Joe Barbara, Gordon Parks, Peter Boyle, Jack Palance, Jack Warden, and Robert Altman.
To jump back an hour or so, readers with hearts will agree that the comeback of 2006 was Jackie Earl Haley. That guy fell through the bottom.
He talked again.
I don’t make a habit of letting celebrities raise my ire, but the sound of Reese Witherspoon’s voice, the look on her fake mug, Jumpin’ Jiminy Bald “Alternative” Comedians…..she must be the overbearing, order-barking cunt played for every role. There’s no way around it.
Sun 25 Feb 2007
Posted by Andrew Earles under
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4.
Those giggling birds that presented the award for Costume Design? Check Please!! And I hate that Marie Antoinette won something….anything. Surprisingly, it wasn’t for Best Use of Worn Out Post-Punk.
I felt very little after viewing Pan’s Labyrinth, but I shouldn’t be asked. I’ve never attended a Burning Man Festival.
Robert Downey Jr.’s joke was the first genuine laugh of the night.
Paula Poundstone is not “doing ok.”
Interpretive Dance and Def Poetry Jam. I feel the same.
Jennifer Hudson shatters all Sassy Black Women That Win An Oscar stereotypes by thanking god (twice) and her grandmother. Tomorrow, exactly $1,921,981 in company time will be wasted amongst attitude-burdened receptionists as this speech is revered.
I haven’t been wondering where Jerry Seinfeld has been. I have, however, missed those poignant observations.
The Ennio Morricone montage should remind all of every stupid co-worker that has whistled the theme to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Are there that many Italians in the audience?
Sun 25 Feb 2007
Posted by Andrew Earles under
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3.
The John C. Reilly/Will Ferrell/Jack Black musical number? I DIDN’T LIKE IT.
It looks as though the nominated Animated and Live Action shorts needed to be…..short.
We’ve now gone several minutes without mention of that BETTER THAN AVERAGE COP MOVIE.
The Sound Effects Choir. Wacky. Probably the only part of the Oscars that Mike Patton enjoyed.
MORE E-MURPH!!!
Another asshole with a thank-you list. The sound people for Dreamgirls….one of them said “smokin’”
Do I want E-Murph or Alan Arkin to win Best Supporting? Or Jackie Earl Haley?
Arkin won it!!!
Give a good speech!! This man is allowed to break out the notes!! He sat is statue down!!
Paula Poundstone is back. Doing a little walk through the people. An immense success at avoiding laughs.
Truth be told, I’m working on 3 – 4 more important projects right this second, and I can’t seem to stop thinking about this pair of solid black New Balance 574’s. I adore subtle sneakers.
YES!! Movies and Music!! The Oscars are once again a great place for a painful singer-songwriter gangbang: James Taylor, Randy Newman, and compact truck enthusiast Melissa Etheridge provided seven minutes of pure awfulness that’s actually worse than whatever boring indie film Sufjan Stevens is planning on attaching songs to.
The writing montage. Yep, that’s what writing really looks like.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
And the winner is….
THE BETTER THAN AVERAGE COP MOVIE!!!
At least the writer looks exactly like I’d expected. And talks too much.
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