…to host the final evening of the Hi-Tone’s 10 Year Anniversary weekend. It was by far the best (collective) 20 - 25 minutes I’ve had on a stage in ages. The evening before (Saturday), I DJ’ed the Torche / Coliseum / Clouds show. DJ’ing that sort of show is cake. No “play something we can dance to” or “play some Clash/T.Rex/Jam!!!” etc. I was accompanied for half a set by my friend Dale McNeil, who assaulted the crowd with Striborg and absurdly obscure River City Hardcore (not Copout, before you ask). Meaning, I have no idea exactly what he played. I do have my set list, however, and I’m going to hit you with it, because I can’t think of anything clever to post. Skip it or continue reading and you’ll be awarded a blow-by-blow of last night’s on-stage nonsense.

A combination of my four short DJ sets during the Torche / Coliseum / Clouds show:

(all music is from vinyl…not to be one of those…I rarely DJ anymore, but when I do, no iPod or CD player)

Rapeman “Dutch Courage”

Tragedy “Call to Arms”

Steel Pole Bathtub “The Wasp Jar”

Drive Like Jehu “Turn It Off”

C / Average “Usurper Girl”

Accept “Breaker”

Tar “Walking the King”

Coroner “Voyage to Eternity”

Saint Vitus “The Creeps”

Harvey Milk “Down”

Cactus “Evil”

Kudgel “I Love You”

Love 666 “You Sold Me Out #2″

Onslaught “In Search of Sanity”

Alice Cooper “Black Juju”

Part Chimp “B1″

Trumans Water “Long End of a Firearm”

UFO “Lights Out”

Jesus Lizard Medley: “Gladiator” / “The Best Parts” / “Glamorous”

Shellac “Canaveral”

Fucked Up “Year of the Pig”

Bad Brains “I Against I”

Agent Orange “Bloodstains”

Black Flag “Best One Yet”

Boris “Buzz-In”

Black Sabbath “Over and Over”

The Bastards “Parade”

I may have skipped some…

Then…

The Hi-Tone being the 10th anniversary of a club that’s hosted many shows I’ve attended or spent many hours writing about, I “MC’ed” a show headlined by Magnolia Electric Co. The evening also featured a raffle awarding year-long passes to two lucky attendees. To drum up excitement, I ran down a list of upcoming shows. The (fictional, of course) list included Jack Off Jill, Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, Ethyl Meatplow, Chainsaw Kittens, The Mentors, and you get the picture. On the 10th or 11th band, I decided to address the woman yelling “Hey!” and standing directly in front of the stage. She looked very normal and appeared to be in her late-30’s.

“Do we have a Dread Zeppelin fan in the audience?” I asked with a smile.

“No…Jack Off Jill….I’m a huge Jack Off Jill fan, are they really playing?!? What date was that?!?”

“Honestly, I made these up. It’s a joke.”

“Not nice words. Those were not nice words.”

“Well, they weren’t mean…I didn’t say anything rude about Jack Off Jill.”

“Not nice words.”

A few minutes later, I watched her exit the front door with a boyfriend/friend/husband. Upon returning to the stage, I finished the list but prefaced this round with, “Ok, I don’t want the crowd to keep shrinking, so I need to know if anyone is a fan of the following….” Badfinger reunion, Chainsaw Kittens, and so on…..

When the list (a long one that I don’t remember verbatim…just like I don’t remember my precise words) came to an end, the same lady was standing in the same spot.

“You’re good….those are fine. You’re safe.”

Other (much more entertaining) moments will be lost in translation and I need to get on with some real work.