Failed Pilot

No comments re: the Jesus Lizard post? No one wants to step up to the plate? No one reads this blog?

Tonight, harshly against my better judgment, logic, and available time, I actually spent over 30 minutes on MySpace. Not creeping around, no, but UPDATING MY PROFILE. I deleted some old blogs (they were mirrored by this blog…good luck with your unlikely search!!), will eventually delete all of the blogs from that leaking ship, and CREATED A PERSONAL PLAYLIST OF FAVORITE SONGS!! I had to stop. That 30 minutes could’ve transformed into the entire evening. Pop on over there and then pop back over here to make fun of me. Now. Lemme have it….

When that’s out of your system, order one of these for those still worthy of a X-mas gift. I probably have it made; no more than 10 (closer to  people (family included) made the list this year. If one of them happened to be in the publishing/magazine editor biz, they’d get this as a bonus. Any other time of the year would equal SADNESS re: the tiny number of “inner tier” friends nurtured (and by “nurtured” I mean, regrettably, usually, “semi-neglected”) on a regular basis, but come December 26 - 30, I’ll have the fat wallet. Hello conspicuous consumption!!

Playing, Across The Room, At This Very Moment: Side 2 of Vortura, the 1994 MATADOR-RELEASED LP by Bailter “Do People Go Through Life with Shit Crammed in Their Earholes, Disliking or Remaining Ignorant About Bands/Albums THIS FUCKING GREAT?!?!” Space.

I’ve had all the playground abuse one man can take!! It all stems from some quiet yet unapologetic excitement over the Jesus Lizard reunion and 100% of it can be traced, mainly through 1,831 soul-erasing/waterworks-inducing e-mails, to a shall-remain-unnamed Jason and the Scorchers/Olds 97’s fan that happens to also be a close friend. Going so far as to show up at my door (while I was in the middle of stuffing 10,000 envelopes for a non-profit, pet rescue organization…for no fee) void of a shirt but donning dirtied-stiff Levi’s 501s with the button-fly open, allowing the act of ”hanging brain” (to recognize this slang, readers must possess brain to hang and a fond remembrance of 7th grade and/or a front row position at a JL show). Let’s take a look at some internet scuttlebutt:

Pitchfork

Brooklyn Vegan

Ultimate Axe

INDIEBLIPS!!

Wait a sec…these things all read the same!!! Oh well, I still have some questions: Will the Pure EP be included as bonus material? Did I even read those things? Will I ever feel good about (recently…ssshhh!!!) purchasing a used copy of the major label ”huh?” album, Blue, for the sole purpose of “having something to listen to in the car” during a 6+ hour drive back to Memphis from Atlanta/Athens? My girlfriend and co-pilot: “Still kicking in ’98, huh?”

…and now for the CLIMAX!!!

The Jesus Lizard HALL OF GREATNESS!!! (no order)

1. “Pastoral”

2. “7 Vs. 8″

3. “Gladiator”

4. “Blockbuster”

5. “Glamorous”

6. “Elegy”

7. “Mouth Breather”

8. “Monkey Trick”

9. “The Best Parts”

10. “Monkey Trick” (live version from Bang)

11. “Cold Water”

12. “Boilermaker”

13. “The Art of Self-Defense”

14. “Zachariah”

15. “Whirl”

No science…feel free to argue with a list I compiled in 30 seconds.

Scratching your balding dome over what to get the inner circle for X-Mas?

Patronize Mr. Christie…

There should be more Bazillion Points…all over…but as a wise woman once said to me:

“The most prolific people, the ones that have the MOST ideas, are the ones that have the worst ideas.”

To clarify (or rather, to answer a couple of idiotic e-mails)…

This entry is PRO-Bazillion Points (Books)!!

Look at that! I backspaced over some stuff!!

I give this T-Day a 10!!